NBA Playoffs: 8 Series, 4 Games In, 2 Observations Each

 I have been deployed into the wild for an important task. Over the past nine days, I have guzzled playoff hoops like a Hummer does with gas. From each series, I have compiled a list of two observations for each series from my time plunged into the deep waters of NBA postseason ball’s first four games, as I observed the best in the game in their hardwood habitat, during the time of year when the hunt was most vital, and here’s what I took note of:

No mentions of the fan conduct in here, since I didn’t know where to tie it in. That being said, it’s worth noting that these incidents of misbehavior. occurred in Boston, Philadelphia, and Washington DC. Nothing besides the Eastern Seaboard. Need I add a paragraph to the West Coast Best Coast case?

76ers Vs Wizards:

-Tony Hawk and Kelly Slater can back up. I have found an activity far more exhilarating than skating or surfing. It’s called Watching Ben Simmons Shoot Free Throws. Pretty sure it forces Sixer fans to lose more weight than participating in those other hobbies too

-Having Robin Lopez on a playoff bench mob is a blast. Even in 30 years, when he looks more like a retired rock star (actually pretty much what he’ll be) than an NBA player, I still want to see RoLo get excited about the performance of a random team in the league. The Robin Lopez For Coach Of The 2050 Seattle SuperSonics Campaign starts now!

Nets Vs Celtics:

-Jayson Tatum was created in a lab to score 50 PPG once a month. I’m not sure if he’ll be a perennial All-NBA player, a title contender, or anything else in the league. All I know is he’s good for one of those half-dollar spurts every few weeks, right as another MLB no-hitter occurs

-Every time the Nets go up big, and I’m just staring into a void while their bench ices the game after the Big 3’s dominance, I start thinking about James Harden’s movie. KD starred in Thunderstruck. Kyrie had Uncle Drew. Is the Beard’s film of destiny Magic Mike 3?

Bucks Vs Heat:

-After hours of research, I have learned that this postseason is NOT in fact set in a bubble at Disney World in Orlando, Florida with no fans.

That’s it for this section. I was so floored by reading that I had nothing left to say

Knicks Vs Hawks:

-Spike Lee is simultaneously one of the greatest, most brilliant, most observant filmmaker of all time, with so many movies perfectly encompassing racial tension, and an absolute cartoon character when he gets near 10 players fighting over a bouncy ball and trying to get it through an elevated ring

-The modern NBA is completely personified by Trae Young. Between the good parts, like the 30 footers, the bad parts, like the incessant attempts to draw fouls, and the debatable parts, like his trash talk game, the former Sooner sums it all up. I’m still deciding whether I’m cringing at or loving Trae Young calling MSG “Times Square”

Jazz Vs Grizzlies:

-If you polled the participants in the NBA Playoffs, most would say they are competing to hoist the Larry O’Brien Trophy. The one exception? Ja Morant, who would probably say dunking on Rudy Gobert is the ultimate goal

-After years of trying to put my finger on the Utah Jazz coach’s look, I have finally deciphered it. Quin Snyder looks like a Death Eater, substitute teacher, or secret rom-com aficianado. Perhaps somewhere in between

Suns Vs Lakers:

-I was promised The Greatest Showmen. And they delivered. Having LeBron vs CP3 battle, two of the all-time great performers (read: flop artists), has been all the entertainment I could ever hope for. If I referred to “The Embellishment Play,” your brain would jump to enough plays to fill a binder page

-Kentavious Caldwell-Pope seems like a player we should talk about more. Yet, we simply don’t. Sorry, I don’t have a KCP take one way or the other. But I implore you to discuss him more

Nuggets Vs Trail Blazers:

-I’ve watched Ocean’s 11 multiple times and still am yet to witness a robbery as great as the Trail Blazers winning by 20 in Game 4 with Dame going 1-10 from the field. Lillard was +33 despite a catastrophic shooting night!

-This already has the feel of a series that goes 7 thrilling games, with Damian Lillard and Nikola Jokic duking it out. With Carmelo Anthony returning to Denver, he plays well in the winner-take-all duel. It has all the storylines and elite players for an unforgettable, roller coaster ending. And approximately 17 people will be watching

Clippers Vs Mavericks:

-Should we force the Clippers south, back to San Diego if they cannot finish their Klawing back? You’re right, the city has gone through enough with the Chargers’ absence. The last thing they need is a team as frustrating as The Other Los Angeles Team. Although, the feelings that they evoke come playoff time will probably be familiar to a fanbase used to Phillip Rivers

-I’m very grateful that Luka Doncic has a rather lackluster supporting cast, so I can convince myself that he can be the greatest player ever if he obtains All-Star teammates. If he had such spectacular colleagues, I might see that he isn’t quite the GOAT. This way, I get to continue the “Sky’s the limit” mentality