Casey At Da Bat

  This is the greatest time of year for sports fans. OK, that is complete hyperbole. It cannot match the spectacle of the NBA Finals, World Series, Super Bowl, or well, any major sporting event. However, today is… one of the 365 best days of the sports calendar. Why? A. Do some research on how calendars work. B. It’s the most hopeful time of year for NFL and NBA fans, as they get to see their young talent shine in low-stakes matches. When a guy doesn’t perform in a big game, there’s not much of a defense one can make. In the pre-season, there is an entire Noah’s Ark filled with excuses all about why your top pick couldn’t perform. But when they show up and pass that oh-so-sweet “Eye Test,” there is no better feeling in the world. You just saw your guy perform in the highest level of their sport, and there’s no taking that away. Also, this is a great time to deploy my favorite phrase in the English language (although it’s a term known in every tongue from Chinese to Gaelic): SZN. Pr...

  During the “school” year, The players find reason to cheer, For their club Has taken home another dub. But as the calendar flips to June and July, Happiness is not in short supply, Because summer Is never a bummer. During this season, The men and women commit the opposite of treason, Skipping their vacation To represent their nation. While during the year their allegiances may align With the billionaire who signs on the dotted line, The Olympics bring people who want to brag For their flag. When the athletes wearing “USA” Medal and erupt in cheers of “YAY,” The fan’s reaction Is complete satisfaction. As the flag unfolds While the team holds up golds, I feel together With others who live under the bald eagle’s feather. Whether the athletes outrun Or lift an entire ton, I manage to have fun, As for that moment, We Americans are all one.

  Modie Moozy. An absolutely perfect name for anything Modie Moo. Still a stellar selection of sounds, and having a farm animal noise is a plus, but losing the Zeeeeeee at the end here hurts Moozes Modey. I want to try a desset called a "Moozes Modey" at a hipster hub in San Francisco Modie Moody. Modie is a fantastic first name, but it overall sounds too much like Moses Moody, a strange name for a basketball player (Indents for an eternity) The worst one ever. “Moses Moody.” What does this series of vowels and consonants even mean? https://twitter.com/warriorsworld/status/1420921092856709120

Ever read detailed scouting reports by journalists like Jonathan Givony and say to yourself “Gee, this is incredible analysis, but I’m not smart enough to know what it means?” In that case, this is the big board for you.  I’m not going to ponder whether the Warriors will select a raw talent with no ceiling like Jonathan Kuminga or a more polished player like Davion Mitchell. I won’t pick a side on the Green V Mobley debate at #2 for the Houston Rockets. I will question which prospect has the greatest tribute to a classic board game. I will make many opinions on the futures of athletes based on their names. I will identify parts of these players that no other analyst has discussed. First, just for accountability and letting GMs know who to take (the group labelled NO THANKS) and who to pass on (the group labelled YES SIR): YES SIR: -Davion Mitchell. The greatest player ever -Cade Cunningham. Pretty good as well -NBA-style wings like Franz Wagner, Kai Jones, and Trey Murphy III -Mile...

  Mike Tauchman’s cleats pushed off the left field warning track at Dodger Stadium. His glove zipped through the Los Angeles night, before settling just above the out of town scoreboard, running fashionably late for a date with a ball off the bat of Albert Pujols.  When he returned to the ground following his air expedition, the score remained the same. Only, he had a baseball in his glove, the inning had turned from #9 to #10, and Pujols, a former face of the franchise across town, wore a disappointed look, realizing that rather than a walk-off HR, his place in the scoresheet would look like any other F7. I grinned as we defeated our archrivals, thanks to Tauch’s reach above the fence and extra inning hits by LaMonte Wade Jr and Evan Longoria. Yet, while I was staring at the magic on May 28th that has become old hat for this energetic Giants team, bigger things were on my mind than a baseball rivalry win.  That night, we went out to dinner to commemorate my mother’s birt...

  LAST TIME, ON MAJOR CHAMPIONSHIP GOLF: The Tour visited Torrey Pines, returning to the Pacific Ocean to look out on the most vicious major, serving as the backdrop to yet another classic. Louis Oosthuizen, the greatest golfer of all time, looked poised to take his second biggie, and first win on American soil. Until… Jon Rahm sank dramatic birdie putts on Hole #71 and #72 to hoist the aptly named US Open Trophy. Bryson crashed on the final nine like the waves below. Matthew Wolff made his return to the PGA stage with an exclamation point of a week. For much of the morning, every single top player was in contention - if you can think of the household name, they were probably within spitting distance. NOW: SAND FLIES, TAKING US FROM THE BEACHES OF SAN DIEGO TO THE POT BUNKERS OF SANDWICH. FAIRWAYS TIGHTEN. RIDGES ON GREENS GROW INTO MOUNTAINS. THE OMNIPOTENT CLOUDS OF ENGLAND CLENCH THEIR FISTS. THE WIND WAILS AND WAILS. IT WHISPERS “SHORT GAME” This is the Open Championship. ...