Puttering Around: PGA Championship Preview

 Last time, on MAJOR GOLF:

(Read this while visualizing a Survivor-esque montage, in Jeff Probst’s voice, with players hitting out of bunkers, celebrating made putts and groaning over the near-misses, and Jordan Spieth nearly beaning Rory Sabbatini)

Hideki Matsuyama rode an immaculate 14 clubs, including a putter he previously struggled to do well with, to the green jacket, shaking off a stretch of 13 months with 2 Top 12 finishes.

Will Zalatoris won north of a million dollars, finished second, and came a Hideki missed tap-in away from a playoff to host a dinner party in Augusta, Georgia next year. Yet, he remains excluded from the FedEx Cup playoffs due to rookie rules, while the lion’s share of the 125 pros invited to The Northern Trust are far from household names.

Jordan Spieth kept the mojo of his San Antonio win going, returning to form at Augusta to the tune of his 5th Top 3.

Bryson DeChambeau repeated his November performance, stumbling through the gates for an uninspiring finish at a club that is yet to suit him well. 

Dustin Johnson could not follow in Bryson’s footsteps and construct 4 days of similar golf to his 2020 victory, instead only playing 2 days and missing the cut. 

NOW, we enter the second major of the year, at one of the most dramatic locations to drive, chip, and putt in the United States - the Ocean Course, at Kiawah Island, a place of great golf lore, even if only minted 30 years ago. Already, it has hosted an all-out WAR between the two frontiers of the Atlantic Ocean, and the coronation of a young prince. 

Collin Morikawa is the defending champ, so will his world-best irons propel him to the Wanamaker Trophy once again?

Rory McIlroy won this event, at this venue, 9 years ago, but can he replicate it during a different time of year, to prove the sportsbooks correct for pegging him as the favorite?

Have Justin Thomas and Jordan Spieth re-ascended the mountain, getting back to the top of major championships after a drought? Or will a newbie to the celebratory circumference of the biggest four tournaments of the year, like Jon Rahm, Xander Schauffele, or Viktor Hovland, enter the winners’ circle?

Bryson DeChambeau and Dustin Johnson won majors less than 9 flips of the calendar ago. After poor form of late, does their ability to pummel the golf ball have enough to get them back to those winning ways?

(WATER SPLASHES)

4 DAYS

(PANS OVER THE FULL 7,846 YARDS)

156 COMPETITORS

(WANAMAKER TROPHY TWINKLES)

ONE PGA CHAMPIONSHIP CHAMPION

As usual, let’s preview the PGA Championship through some fake bets:

Sam Burns to hold a 54-hole lead (-200)

Player I gave a random mention in my previous week’s column to win (-70000)

Rain in North Texas during May (+15000000)

We have some HUGE golf to discuss, but that doesn’t mean we’re skipping over a fun AT&T Byron Nelson. Leading into a carnage-heavy major, at a Hall Of Fame Madden difficulty Kiawah Island, an event with bogeys few and far in between, were a blast to watch, and I can only imagine even more fun to play.

While the course was known as TPC Craig Ranch, cows, people named Craig, and cows named Craig, were not in sight. A different animal was chirping, who flew through the air. We saw the PGA Tour pros spread their wings and remind the audience that as magnificent as their scores in the 60s are at the most demanding holes this side of the Gas Giants, they can blow any of those scores out of the water when they venture to your local country club. 

Instead, the birds were the animals of the week, although it was not an event for the birds. 6 holes bore witness to over 175 birdies each. 65 eagles were eagerly pencilled on scorecards by proud caddies. 

The first three days were jolly good fun - strings and strings of scores under par, a cut line of -6, and impressed spectators. On Sunday, things got weird.

Sam Burns came in with a one stroke lead, after a mind-boggling 62 on Friday afternoon. When I watched Burns embark on a stretch of 4 birdies and 2 birdies, separated by a pair of pars, I didn’t just think he’d make some noise; it seemed obvious that he wouldn’t merely become the first player in PGA Tour history to win twice in 2021 (STRATEGY: always say “In history” when making a point that applies to a specific enclosed period of time to make it seem more impressive. Not even Tiger Woods or Jack Nicklaus could do ___!), but replace Brendon Todd in 2019 as the last player to win back-to-back starts. 

On weeks like this, or two weeks before it, or a week before that, or any week where I attain zero kills in a battle royale shooter and claim I got “1 or 2” (HINT: every week), every single club in his bag is firing on all cylinders/whatever shape a golf club is. Driver. Irons. Putter. It’s all there. Now that he’s broken through and won an event, the PGA world is on their toes for a deep finish in a major like the approaching one. 

Unfortunately, after yet another lead while Saturday Night Live airs, Burns could not hold on. Instead, it was K. H. Lee who won the Byron Nelson, thanks to a four days at the ranch much steadier than one spent riding a wild bull, shooting between 65 and 67 each day. Last week, I alluded to his lack of a PGA Tour win, but disregarded it, saying I’d nevertheless take him in a sack race. Perhaps, I should’ve taken him in the event honoring the 5-time major champ as well. 

It’s far from the first time I’ve made a random mention of a golfer, only for them to find success - I wanted to make a pun out of Stew Cink’s name in my Masters recap and note Keith Mitchell’s issues on the green in Tampa, with Cink winning the next week and Mitchell going far in his next start. 

This week, I’ll pick a random golfer to randomly mention, and maybe they’ll win. Eenie meenie miney… Max Homa and Collin Morikawa! Two alumni of Cal, a school I root for. What a coincidence!

In retrospect, it should’ve been obvious that Lee would win after my arbitrary usage of his name. The shocking part was how he won on Sunday - by teeing off very early on Sunday mornings due to weather concerns. For your information, that means they were afraid the tourney would get delayed, not that they were scared of meteorologists. The qualms were validated, when the rain dumped down, causing the rules officials/professional water sweepers to push the water out of the way of the golfers’ lines on putts. Soon enough, they had to take a break due to lightning. Lee entered the break with the lead, came out of the break with the lead (one would hope both would be true, unless someone tampered with the scoreboard/scorecards), and closed out with a lead.

Precipitation does not surprise me. Lightning does not surprise me. I have attended one or two science classes in my life, so I know that is possible. Unfortunately, I have not taken North Texas weather lessons. I did not realize it rained there. Apparently, it rains 80 days a year in Dallas. You learn something new every day! I still am not sure if I buy it, so it might not count as the one thing I learned today, preventing me from absorbing anything else, as you cap out at 1. So, hopefully by next week, I should have my conspiracy theory about the guy who lives in the sky and dumps water on the Metroplex every 5 days, which may be construed as religious theory on the existence of God. 

Rory McIlroy to win the 2012 PGA Championship (-99000000)

Golf broadcaster to vomit due to literally referencing said PGA Championship ad nauseam (+230)

If anyone has 9,900 dollars on hand, I’d advise zipping down to your local Casey At Da Bat sportsbook and wagering that money on Rory to win the 2012 PGA Championship, to win a dollar. With the guarantee of excellence that my fictional gambling house brings, you can trust us not to take off with your money and invest it in a cryptocurrency that doesn’t exist yet but could be worth a few bucks in 2030 to finance a down payment on an Arkansas timeshare by America’s 300th birthday.

While I wouldn’t advise entrusting almost ten grand to complete strangers (although the customer service reps that totally exist at our sportsbook are anything but outsiders), the most wise time to do so would be when betting on a player who already won the contest in question, unless you’re staking your money worth almost 100,000 egg openers on a missed cut. 

That scenario is the case with Rorathan, who won the PGA Championship the last time we saw golf of relevance on the Ocean Course.

We expected success from Rory here, given that he’s the only player today pinpointed in the Top 20 of the Official World Golf Rankings to finish in the Top 40. Interestingly enough, the two words every great sentence starts with, you can nearly flip that stat too - the golfer sharing a name with the daughter in Gilmore Girls is the only one in the Top 37 (I totally just picked a random number there; Adam Scott, who T11-ed, definitely is not ranked 38th)  of this week’s OWGR to reel in a Top 20 on the beach of South Carolina. Dustin Johnson is the only other Top 20-er to so much as make the weekend.

And those stats hardly do his supremacy justice, only expressing Rors’ relative familiarity with the 2012 PGA site compared to his younger rivals, not the absolute dominion he exhibited. For all you knew from those figures, he stumbled his way to a T20, 15 strokes behind the victor. That was not the case. He won by eight strokes. Eight. Rory McIlroy was eight strokes better than any of the 155 other professional golfers invited to the backdrop for the island’s media shuttle debacle. Eight strokes was the difference between second and 36th, between third and 42nd. 

The criticism was, how could Rory win a major championship after a year and a half without a win, and no top fours since the COVID restart? Well, he won a PGA fixture at last two weeks ago.

Now, we swap roles, as I ask the questions, and you give the answers.

What is stopping Rory McIlroy from winning his first major since 2014?

A stacked field featuring one of the best crops of young players ever?

A different feel to the course?

One too many reporter asking “What was going through your head nine years ago?” 

Rors, if you need me to answer that last one for you, I’d be happy to oblige. I was 6 years old, so I was probably A. taking kindergarten for granted B. Sneaking ice cream C. Watching a Cars 2 film I worshipped or D. Contemplating how the paspalum elevated greens at Kiawah would play into the players’ blueprints.

Winner of the “Is it a links course?”  debate:

Yes (+600)

No (-750)

Will there be more:

Yards on the Ocean Course (-170)

OR

Mentions of the high number of yards on the Ocean Course (+140)

Most Discussed Golf Architecture Point:

Links Course Debate (+190)

Distance (+225)

Change In Time Of Year (+290)

Grass Type (+375)

Wind (+430)

Let’s throw all of the golf architecture points in here. Most courses have a clear identity. 

The US Open, situated at Winged Foot, rewarded a player like Bryson DeChambeau, the eventual winner, who could hit the ball farther than anybody else, and whack it out of the rough like few others.

Two weeks ago, when the PGA Tour made its yearly stop at the Wells Fargo, Quail Hollow rewarded driving, putting, and birds whose inside was empty, with less emphasis on irons. Last week, the Byron Nelson gave way to players who could rack up birdies at a fast pace.

The fascinating thing about Kiawah is, it is none and all of those things at the same time, a statement that is both true and a line I’ve always wanted to say. 

Everyone sees the same golf course, and gravitates towards so many different players. 

Bryson DeChambeau, Dustin Johnson, and Rory McIlroy are popular picks because of their distance, which plays into the longest 18 in major history. Of course, length are a paramount asset at any set of fairways, roughs, and greens. Even on a Par 3 course, where driving is as irrelevant as this year’s Pittsburgh Pirates, increased strength allows for more advantageous club selection, like going to a pitching wedge rather than 9 iron.

Others prefer more of a Collin Morikawa, Abraham Ancer, or Corey Conners, who hail from the three different nations of North America, but all share the similarity of driving accuracy and elite iron play. 

Somehow, the same course that caters to Bryson DeChambeau also works well for Patrick Reed and Jordan Spieth, who make up for their lack of driving distance with brilliant play closer to the putting surface, a region of the which is so tough on this coastal course.

Finally, the potential for less than ideal conditions, along with a spot that probably isn’t a links course but looks like one and some will argue it is, brings in other Euros and Aussies, who, like Cam Smith, play well in poor conditions, and similar to Shane Lowry, have encountered and reigned supreme at similar settings in the UK. 

If you were hoping for a, “This course means Jon Rahm will run away with the PGA Championship,” that’s not what you’ll get. The combination of distance and difficult greens, the narrow fairways parlayed with unfamiliar paspalum grass, and the potential for wind, make this an environment where many can win, but few can expectantly state they’ll shine on.

Although, if you really want to poke and prod me for a pick, fine. I can confidently utter that Joe Summerhays (2500-1) will not win. Knowing me, he’ll probably make the cut, and with it, some noise. Now that I type that, though, does it lose its magic? Although once I acknowledge that, does the sorcery swing back to Summerhays’ side? Should I stop this paragraph now before I galaxy brain myself? That, I can say yes to without a second thought.

Over/Under 300.5 references to the 1991 “War On The Shore” Ryder Cup

Check out No Laying Up’s deep dive of the War On The Shore, when the United States and Europe went head-to-head in arguably the most iconic Ryder Cup we’ve ever seen. Rivalry. National pride. A beautiful, mean course. And my words can hardly do it justice. This one had it all, and I urge you to check it out. Preferably a few weeks from now, once you’re cleansed from somebody saying over and over “This is exactly like the 1991 Ryder Cup!”

Dustin Johnson and Paulina Gretzky’s marital status:

December 31st, 2019:

Fiancees (-10000)

Married (+2000)

Today:

Fiancees (-400)

Married (+310)

December 31st, 2021:

Fiancee (+160)

Married (-220)

The PGA Championship is about to begin. In a matter of hours, the competitors will be off in the race for the Wanamaker Trophy. Yet, I have no clue about Dustin Johnson.

I have no idea about Dustin Johnson’s personal life. His Wikipedia page says he married longtime fiancee Paulina Gretzky on April 29th 2021, and if I’ve learned one thing from paying attention in school over the last 9 years, it’s that Wiki isn’t just a reliable source, it’s the most trustworthy website.

 If one were to take to heart the odd advice NOT to believe everything you read on the Free Encyclopedia, and further scour the information superhighway we call the Internet, you might find DJ’s comments on the matter after his fiancee was seen hunting a wedding dress. Given the mystery of the Johnson/Gretzky couple, there’s a 10% chance Paulina just wanted a dress to wear to an event, and was yet another red herring.

Dustin said when asked in May that they were yet to settle on a wedding date. Like my thoughts on the Ocean Course, my takeaway from this news is everything and nothing all at once. Due to DJ’s secrecy, my mind jumps to a million different conclusions, all of which would force Occam to grow a beard after seeing his shaving device shattered. They might’ve been married in secret 5 years ago, or weeks ago when the Great One’s daughter was spotted with designer Vera Wang. They might not actually be engaged, or a couple at all. They may have, in the most relatable, human deed possible, procrastinated holding a wedding for 8 years. 

The same illiteracy I have on Johnson’s personal life and matrimony also pertains to his golf game. Dustin Johnson is the number one player in the world, and it isn’t close. As amazing as Jon Rahm and Justin Thomas are, they each stand far behind DJ on that points list. 

The narrative that Dustin has cratered in 2021 is false - he won the Saudi Invitational in a country you’ll NEVER guess from the name (Saudi Arabia, not just Saudiland or Saudi), in a field with Bryson DeChambeau, Viktor Hovland, Tony Finau, Patrick Reed, and many more adept entrants.

Still, the recent form would only be appreciated by a kid who supposed golf, like most sports, awarded their trophies to the men with the most strokes. DH (His actual nickname if he went by his first/middle initials) hasn’t Top 10-ed since the minute at midnight between February 28th and March 1st we use to pay tribute to Julius Caesar and his creation of the leap year. His best finish on American soil in 2021 was a T8. DHJ (full initials) infamously missed the cut at The Masters, the only time this season he hasn’t teed off on Saturday morning. 

Nevertheless, there is no counting out Dustin Johnson, especially when he is the defending FedEx Cup champion, world #1, and has won an event in the past 4 months and a major in the past 6. Leading into the Players Championship, JT’s odds seemed too juicy for a player of his caliber. The same could be said for RM (I’m doing initials, go with it) before the Wells Fargo. Both won their events. 

DJ, still arguably the best in the world, has the potential to please handicappers who bought tickets on a missed cut, or those who tried their luck on an 18-1 winner slip on a player who made the cut the last time this contest met this shoreline. The only question is if he can turn it up from 0 to 60, from hardly making a cut to standing firmly in a weekend final group. 

YOU HAVE NOW REACHED THE POINT IN THE ARTICLE AFTER I WATCHED WARRIORS/LAKERS.

So don’t (or do, you probably should, seeing as I wrote it, and haven’t yet acquired an editor for whom I can fault) blame me if you detect a more somber tone. 

EX: I hope Jordan Spieth does Under Armour proud and takes home the Wanamaker Trophy for a career grand slam! Wait… Steph is an Under Armour athlete. And Brad Wanamaker was on the Dubs earlier this year. What is the meaning of life again?

Xander Schauffele to place 2-6 (-110)

Patrick Stewart Cameo as the Golf X-Men are formed (+450)

Xander Schauffele is the Forrest Gump of major golf. He may have never laced up football cleats in Tuscaloosa or combat boots in Vietnam, but he has stood on every tangent and arc of the winner’s circle, while never quite being granted entry. 

He has teed off in four US Opens. In all, not only did he make it to the 72nd tee in each, but when the dust and deep cut rough settled, he stood in the top six. Many think the upcoming edition could be where he breaks through, due to its habitat - Torrey Pines, in Schauffle’s hometown of San Diego. He didn’t fare poorly in its analogous cross-Atlantic event either, tying for second at Carnoustie, which I refuse to believe is a real place and not a dish you order before a steak. Finally, Alex (weird to think of Schauffele as an X) had two memorable near-misses at The Masters, where in 2019, he held a solo lead 13 holes in, before Tiger Woods scaled the leaderboard. Then, a month ago, he seemed to have the momentum to give Hideki Matsuyama a run, before hitting his first on 16 into the H2O. 

Plus, he has been vetted at clashes many consider the “fifth major,” like the Players Championship (most people’s 5th) and the Waste Management Open (my fifth), tying for second in his career visiting both TPC Sawgrass and TPC Scottsdale.

Is Kiawah the locale for Schauffele’s win? Or will he put pressure on himself to get over the hump as the hometown hero? If he can top 3, without occupying the top spot, it would hoist him to the watered-down Oosthuizen Award, or the Rickie Fowler Trophy, for making podium showings at the four biggest shows in golf. This is the only major he is yet to Top 9 at, but he poses a feasible shot at getting to his signature portion of the leaderboard.

Whether the X-Man gets to the top or not after years of getting close, but not quite, may not matter in the yearlong race for the FedEx Cup the reassembly of the X-Men. Four players qualified for the 2021 PGA Championship (I almost didn’t end that sentence and left you scrambling to see which quartet would get to compete) with an X in their name. One is Alex Beach, a club pro who can serve in the leader/Professor X role. Then, there were three - Alex Noren, Max Homa, and yours truly. That last person is Xander Schauffele, the guy we’ve been chewing over for paragraphs, though I understand how that could be misinterpreted as me. 

As the Official Golf Related Superhero Group Rules state, any Golf Related Superhero Group must have at least four members. Take Rickie Fowler, Bubba Watson, Ben Crane, and Hunter Mahan, AKA the Golf Boys, whose music video is can’t miss. Or Smylie Kaufman, Jordan Spieth, Justin Thomas, and again Rickie Fowler, better known as the Baker’s Bay Break Bros. His name doesn’t have an X in it, but we might have to just include Rickie Fowler because apparently he’s part of any group of Albatross Amigos. 

Alex, Max, and Xander were ready to represent the Marvel comics. Yet, they needed one more, but remained deprived of another X. Then, like a savior, Rickie Fowler sent his pal Jordan Spieth, literally with a giant X on his back screaming “pick me.” I’m not one to misuse literally. Jordan Spieth had a massive X decorating the side of his shirt opposite the front, giving him a special exemption to the X-Men

Brooks Koepka to have knees (+105)

We still are unclear on if Brooks Koepka has knees. Look for updates on this page throughout the week. That seems like something you’d probably want when chasing your third PGA Championship in four years. My father is a doctor, though not a medical one, but it might be worth asking him for his expert opinion on this matter. 

All season, Koepka has been topsy-turvy, embodying the zone of California ranging from Death Valley to Mount Whitney. He started the season late, after injuries didn’t allow him to make it to Winged Foot. Then, he racked up 3 straight made cuts, including T5 and T7 at Augusta, which was followed by 3 missed cuts. Then arrived a period with 3 more weekends in 3 starts, including a win at the Waste Management Open Fifth Major and a T2 at a World Golf Championship. After a knee surgery, assuming he does in fact have things under those caps between the thigh and the crus, he rushed back for a Masters where he couldn’t get his footing, before sitting out every event before a MC (MC means missed cut or Master of Ceremonies, although I understand the confusion that both missed and made start with M. Improve your terminology golf/me!) at Lord Byron’s TPC Craig Ranch battle. 

As a longtime pattern analyst, I sense a rule of threes. 3 made cuts, two Top 7s. 3 missed cuts. 3 more weekends, with finishes at the gold and silver stands. 2 missed cuts leading into the PGA Championship. My only betting tip, after my Masters disaster that made Billy Horschel’s week look pleasant, is to gamble on a Brooks Koepka missed cut, based on some “Rule of Threes'' nonsense. Remember, after that inevitable MiC at Kiawah, bet him big at his next three starts - to win, top ten, MC (make the cut, this time), you name it.

----

For whoever wins this thing, be it someone with familiarity with trophies in their home, or someone yet to hoist a big one, this will be a huge win.

Just remember, that as we venture into these four days of scenic, intense championship golf, we are watching players chase what would be a victory that could turn the tides of their career, or put another layer of icing on an already legendary one.

This week, it is guaranteed that one player will get that chance to go down in history, and set up a future of flourishing. The only question is who will be set up on such a path