Monday Night Bites: Thanksgiving Movies and College Basketball

 Entertainment: The Perfect Thanksgiving Movie


Is there a classic Christmas movie? Yes, the sheer number of December classics dwarfs Pat Summitt’s win total. Is there an essential Halloween movie? Try an entire genre. 


However, smack dab in the middle of the two exists Thanksgiving, a holiday infamously neglected by Hollywood. Ever since the 1973 release of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, the late November holiday has received very little shine from the movie studios. 


Fortunately, I have been brought into this world to save November enthusiasts from a world without films about their favorite holiday. Here are a couple of my plot pitches:


The Golden Turkey


You’ve heard of the Mayflower. You know of Plymouth Rock. Have you heard of the Golden Turkey? 


Probably not. What the history books and every rational person will tell you is that no such thing exists. This script disagrees with that. 


Captain Miles Standish discovered a turkey. This was no ordinary turkey, a LeBron James to the average Cody Zeller. Standish desired the meat on its bones, and shot it. The Golden Turkey did not die, but instead produce more gold. He stashed it away below one of the initial buildings of the settlement, tossing a message in the bottle into the Atlantic Ocean.


In 2020, this bottle is discovered by 2 divers. They let the secret slip to a few family members. Just a week later, hundreds know the secret, including an NBA G Leaguer and New York Organized Crime. Then, all hell breaks lose


Albuquerque the Turkey


Albuquerque the Turkey was a blissful turkey. However for some random plot device, Albuquerque is sent to some random city, perhaps in New Mexico, where he becomes human.


From there, he navigates life as a person. Albuquerque figures out how to walk, talk, and play guitar from his suburban home.


Finally, romance heats up, but he must find true love by midnight of Thanksgiving dinner, or he will go back to his days as a lowly turkey.


Watch for hilarious moments as he navigates Thanksgiving dinner, trying not to consume his own. 


Nothing has ever been more perfect for a made for TV movie. 


And… there are my weird Thanksgiving movie ideas. Wait until next year for more films you won’t watch, even if Will Wade paid you a bunch of discreet money 


Sports: College Hoops


College basketball, one of the most thrilling sports in the US, has returned. As usual, it has brought a slew of fascinating storylines with its new season. I’ll go through 3 to watch:


  1. Oklahoma State?!

Oklahoma State isn’t well known in college basketball circles for success or failure. The Milwaukee Brewers of the Big 12, they normally just exist. This season, it’s boom or bust. They bring a Top 10 recruiting class in, led by young phenom Cade Cunningham. A second weekend run in March Madness is Likele (one of their players, see what I did there), but so is an unceremonious exit in the conference tournament and little regular season success. We saw negative signs on Day 1, when they edged UT Arlington. Hopefully, for the excitement of the sport, they improve


  1. The Yay-10

You may have heard about the Power 5: the PAC-12, Big Ten, Big 12, SEC, and ACC. Some also discuss the Power 6, referring to the aforementioned quintet, plus the Big East. What if I said there was a 7th elite conference? There is, and it’s called the Atlantic 10. The A-10 is my podcast partner Logan and my favorite conference, and they bring plenty of excitement. Last year, the oohs and aahs came from Obi Toppin, the Naismith Player of the Year. This year, they bring depth. Already in Week 1, the conference managed upsets over Kentucky and LSU. By April, that might be far from their most impressive achievement 


  1. North Carolina Return


UNC was one of the biggest surprises of last season, and not in a good way, placing last in the ACC. Now, they’re back with a star-studded recruiting class and ACC preseason player of the year, veteran Garrison Brooks. This group could come out of the gates strong, playing in the Maui Invitational (confusingly played in Asheville, NC this year). Or, their inexperience could lead to the failure they didn’t enjoy last year. Either way, America wins with an entertaining performance.





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