Monday Night Bites: Among Us and Finals Preview

 Entertainment: Among Us

Among Us is the new hit game! It never ceases to amaze me how these small games with mediocre graphics randomly get discovered. Seriously, it’s been out 2 years. Suddenly, it completely goes crazy. Either this is a legit Rocky Balboa story or it’s one of those SoundCloud rappers who “suddenly gets discovered,” but has been signed for months. Logan and I discussed it a bit on Saturday’s podcast, but it’s a super fun game. Essentially, you either are supposed to kill people (Impostor), or you’re designated to do tasks(Crewmate). The most fun part comes during the meetings, where the group must collaborate to figure out the Impostor. This part is basically my dream: I can reenact either dropping a bombshell at Tribal Council, like my favorite TV show Survivor, or make the shocked declaration of a parent at a resort we once stayed at who berated her child, shouting “SO YOU DID GO DOWN THE WATERSLIDE!” Whether you like a serious game of Clue or just enjoy sabotaging random people and blaming everything on them, Among Us has it all. Unfortunately, the chat feature doesn’t quite give me enough time to go full Irwin “Fletch” Fletcher, but the game has as many twists and turns as the 80s classic mystery/comedy. 

Sports: NBA Finals Preview

This year will be an interesting NBA Finals, I bet LeBron James will play well. No, we aren’t doing that. This preview won’t be the kind you can get from a Basketball-Reference page or the type from a sports radio show in Springfield County, Middle Dakota. This will be one for people who enjoy dumb stuff about JR Smith, not redebating MJ vs LeBron. Here are the top 10 meme storylines of the Finals:

10. Smug Laker fans: I hate Laker fans, and I hardly know any. I’ve clearly been subjected to too much of the Northern California Basketball Propaganda Machine and my friend Rhys, who was in on the Warriors last year, but signed on with LeBron and his band of merry bandwagons. The most frustrating thing for people with friends and family who suffer from LBS (Laker Bandwagon Syndrome) will be the Finals hats: in my middle school the past couple years, I’ve seen plenty of hats with the F from the NBA Finals, purely because my breed of cocky GSW fans knew that the Finals were synonymous with Warriors basketball (Not gonna write this much for most submissions, just wanted to air grievances on my SoCal neighbors)

9. Frank Vogel vs Erik Spolestra: O/U 20 mentions of the fact that the two coaches against each other in the Miami Big 3 era

8. New ads? We’ve all gotten sick of hearing actresses from Frozen mix up taxidermy and tax attorney. I used to think it was cool that my parents had Geico, as I loved the gecko. Now, I’m ashamed because of Idina Menzel. I don’t want to hope for too much, but can we get two new decent ads that will not force an audible negative reaction? 

7. Random Role Players: I can't tell you the final member of the bench. However, via random camera angles, I’ll be able to rattle off non-rotation players like I’m Billy Madison in his final exam 

6. Unibrow: I like to think that a whole new group of fans who only tune in for the Finals will be exposed to the unibrow, and I want to be there to see their reactions

5. Catchphrases: All that needs to be said is “Bang!” And “Mama, there goes that man”

4. Shots of Pat Riley: If you’re tired of shots of the man who assembled this team, prepare to be more exhausted than Batman each night (rant for another day). It’s already getting ridiculous, and that’s before you factor Riley coaching the Showtime Lakers. Whoever wins the Finals, they’ll cut to Pat as the confetti falls

3. Big Men: Javale McGee (who has made an odd transformation into looking like one of Sid’s toys from Toy Story) and Dwight Howard will play big minutes. Pretty self explanatory from there

2. JR Smith: Just seeing the replays will make me smile to a time where the Warriors could win 20 games. This is even better. He may play zero Finals minutes, but we get JR Smith in the Finals. I just can’t ask for more. Wait, actually I can. The final JR Smith championship, “The Last Extremely Confused Look” 

1.Dion Waiters: Is JR Smith a better meme? Yes. However, Dion Waiters has created the greatest meme strategy in the history of sports: hedging on a ring. He was with the Heat at the beginning of the year before going to the Lakers, guaranteeing a ring given his role on both teams. He gets a ring either way. If that’s not brilliant, well, I don’t know. It is brilliant. 

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