Puttering Around: WGC Match Play Recap

 Big Shot Bill Award: Billy Horschel

In most golf tournaments, very few opportunities exist for clutch moments. In 2021, we’ve witnessed daggers from Brooks Koepka and Daniel “Ice” Berger, and crucial putts from Max Homa and Bryson DeChambeau. Nevertheless, in a customary stroke play event, the only event-shaping shots we enjoy arise on Sunday afternoons, and that’s only if we eat our vegetables, say our prayers, and get lucky with a close finish. This weeked, as a result of the Match Play format that this World Golf Championship event in Austin presents, you might miss a hole for the ages if you look down at your phone for 20 seconds, trying to get your hands on Lil Nas X’s Satan shoes. By the time they pump the drop of human blood into the sole, another golfer has removed the blood from a competitor’s soul with a perfect swing. There’s no better example of this than with the victor, Billy Horschel.

On paper, with a glance at the score of the final, it may have looked like Horschel coasted to the finish line, defeating Scottie Scheffler in the championship round by 2 strokes. Before that, the semifinal appeared even more effortless, defeating Victor Perez by 3 strokes, and ending the match on Hole #16, as it was impossible for his Frenchman opponent to roar back, because Perez would have to win 3 holes to tie the match, but only two remained. Although he did play dominant Sunday golf, the path for the Floridaman (Alas, Billy has not chewed off anyone’s face, gotten trapped in an unlocked closet for two days, or attempted to pilfer ribs by sticking them in his trousers) was bumpier than this Chinese road. 

In group play, he was matched with Collin Morikawa and Max Homa, some of the best golfers on tour, who happen to be alumni of… UC Berkeley. What an odd coincidence that I, a supporter of said university, would support them. Along with the two Cal pals was their buddy JT Poston, with Max and JT placing a wager on the NLCS back in October. First, Billy needed a win on the Par 3 17th, one of the most gut-wrenching sites at Austin Country Club, to overcome Homa. Then, Horschel was massacred by Poston, losing by 4 strokes and forgoing the final couple holes. He recovered against a struggling Collin Morikawa, sending the group to a playoff versus Homa. This is where Billy Horschel opened his freezer, grabbed a needle, and began to inject the ice into his veins. After 3 holes of BATTLE, Horschel was able to sink a go-ahead putt, whilst Homa could not win on the green, sending the Gator to the octafinals. A round later, in the quarters, he beat Tommy Fleetwood in another playoff. 

The way Billy Horschel performed when his week was on the line was otherworldly. I can only apologize for failing to produce a better nickname than Big Shot Bill. If he can win a major, I will enter the deep recesses of my brain to pull out a spectacular phrase for his excellence in the massive moments.

Old Friend Award: Match Play

Ever have one of those old friends who you always hit it off with, but only get to see roughly once a year due to geographical constraints, children to care for, and your generally busy lives? I can’t say I have, y’know, because I’m 15, and luckily, I am yet to produce offspring. This childhood playmate may or may not exist in your life, but go with it for the sake of the metaphor. (This Might Make No Sense, But Just Go With It should be the title of this series of columns) In this case, the Match Play format is the Old Friend, and the PGA is the impediment that curtails our ability to hang out with the companion in question.

There are definite problems with the format for the WGC Dell Match Play. Sunday can be subdued, with a bulk of upsets leading to some names well outside the confines of a household advancing to the semifinals. This year was as stacked with upsets as ever - only one Top 20 player made the Round of 16, while 3 of the bottom 5 seeds made the octas. Plus, the Unofficial Final Four Because That’s Already Trademarked By Another Sport™ was comprised solely of men seeded 30th or worse. In comparison to a single elimination tourney, Wednesday and Thursday look anticlimactic, because a loss far from eliminates any player from contention. 3 of the 4 semi finalists did not win their Thursday match, and nonetheless forged ahead, all the way to Sunday. 

Regardless of such complaints, the Match Play is so special because it supplies constant drama. Friday afternoon in Austin is one of the best weekdays of the golf world’s year. In 2021’s edition of the WGC Match Play, we got EIGHT playoffs to wrap up the work/school week, featuring the winner, runner-up, and many more outstanding players fighting for their tickets to the Sweet Sixteen. Saturday is equally as thrilling, with numerous matchups in progress at once, all meaning so much. Match play challenges every contestant to bring their A Game every day, or you’ll be going home faster than you can say “At least I can watch March Madness this weekend.” At the Players Championship, Justin Thomas did just enough to remain in contention for three days, before turning it on Sunday. In last week’s Honda Classic, Matt Jones shot a Thursday course record, and breezed through the ensuing rounds. You can’t do that in Austin. You can’t play a bad round. You MUST piece together consistently outstanding golf to lift the Walter Hagen Cup.

Yikesville Award: Bryson DeChambeau

Am I proud of putting the word “Yikesville” in a column about the WGC Dell Technologies Match Play. No. On second thought, DEFINITELY YES. Either way, DeChambeau’s performance at a crucial WGC event merits Jeeztown, Uh-Oh City, or even El Pueblo De Ay-Yay-Yay, with a burdensome three days punctuated by one catastrophe off the tee.

DeChambeau started by losing to Antoine Rozner. I should be able to end this award write-up at this moment. Rozner is unsung among those who follow the sport for a living, let alone the average fan. He has not recorded victory after victory overseas, boasting 2 Challenge Tour (The PGA should rename itself the Challenge Tour - Pro Golf Association sounds much less intimidating) wins, which contrary to its name, is not incredibly challenging for a player of Rozner’s caliber and World Golf Ranking, plus 2 wins on the European Tour, both in the Middle East.

If the upset of the tournament wasn’t enough, maybe this drive will be sufficient in the pursuit of the boggling of your mind. Reportedly, Bryson hit a tree limb in his chase to drive onto the green. The statistics for this shot are just as NUTS, as that shot alone cost him more strokes off the tee than he loses in nearly every ROUND. This would’ve done equal harm to the spectators in the vicinity and his score for the round. Fortunately for him, the match play format means one catastrophe, one double bogey, won’t hold one’s results up too much. So, the fans in the area clearly win this Battle Of Suffering! A few weeks ago, I equated the Mad Scientist to the Hulk, crossed over with Bird Box. I used it as a simile to get across a point about his power yet inability to hit fairways, but after watching this shot, it might actually be true. Was Bryson frustrated, and wanted to just hammer a ball to the side to get out his rage? Did DeChambeau want to create an NFT of this moment that would inevitably sell for millions due to the sheer comedy of it? Does his accuracy just suck? Nobody can say. 

OOSTHUIZEN Award: Louis Oosthuizen

There’s been a gigantic glitch across all major platforms! Louis Oosthuizen, the best golfer in the world, the best name in the world, and the best person in the world, clearly won this week’s event. Unfortunately, somebody did not want him to get his recognition. On ESPN, the PGA website, and every other media outlet, something was edited, claiming Oosthuizen lost to Kevin Kisner, Justin Thomas, and Matt Kuchar in the group stage. They even employed deep fakes in their cover-up, adjusting the TV broadcast on NBC to give the impression that the Oostmaster  General (you don’t have to send me any money, but a nice greeting card after I came up with that nickname on the spot would be appreciated) was long gone from Austin, when in actuality, he was holding up the Walter Hagen Cup at that moment. Shortly, the PGA shall be launching an investigation on this subject, although you may never hear about it, as it is a confidential matter. 

Nothing But Net Award: Sergio Garcia

In baseball, a player can send a ball into the hands of a lucky fan in left field to win the game. In hoops, a half-courter can fall through the net with a satisfying “swish” to turn the outcome from defeat to triumph. In golf, that sudden swing from L to W is rare in one shot. Almost every putt to pick up a birdie, to snatch the lead, or to win a PGA Tour event is set up by a tremendous drive and/or approach. Almost never do we see a player, in the blink of an eye, in a single use of a club, conquer their opponent. Sergio Garcia, on his 4th playoff hole on Friday afternoon, achieved just that.

After three days of battle in an all-European group, Sergio, the lone Spaniard, arrived at a playoff against Lee Westwood, one of three Englishmen in a batch of four players, a guy he defeated by four strokes on Wednesday. They battled. And battled. And battled. And remained tied, heading into the Par 3 4th. One shot later, it was over, thanks to one stroke of genius by a 41 year old Garcia. With that, he was off to Saturday, while Westwood went home, with Sergio postponing his doom a whopping 24 hours! As college hoops announcer Bill Raftery would say after a magnificent jumper, “NYLON.” In this case, it was more “PLASTIC,” but you get the point. With one use of an iron, Garcia enabled himself to completely turn his fate.

Wrong Guy Award: Baker Mayfield/Some Dude

I cannot recall the last time I laughed this hard while watching a sporting event on TV, in anything not broadcasted by Bill Walton. On Friday afternoon, the Golf Channel telecast had plenty of talking points to discuss. They had the 64 best players in the world out at one of the best golf venues in the United States. They had 16 groups of contested action, 50% of which would go on to a playoff duel. They even had drama, with Dustin Johnson and Kevin Na’s confrontation after the latter did not concede a putt. However, they don’t call it the GOLF Channel. (Note to Self: They actually do call it the Golf Channel) They call it the Golf And Anything Semi-Adjacent To Anything Semi-Adjacent Channel. So, they couldn’t help themselves but wade into some football. They mentioned powerhouse Westlake High School in Austin, where QBs like Drew Brees first dropped back. Then, they mentioned Mayfield, another native of the City Of Keeping Stuff Weird. Judging by this Tweet from the WGC Match Play account, both guys were in attendance, or simply represented by excellent impostors. Still, it looked as if the announcers and cameramen had not received the memo (perhaps because memos no longer exist) about what Baker Mayfield looked like. Given that he sported a mask and baseball cap, it would be a challenge to weed him out among other early 20s white men. So, I suppose they just took a guess, pulled up like a confident third grader at half court, and claimed Some Dude was Baker Mayfield. Some period of time that I cannot specify later, the broadcasters announced that Some Dude was not in fact the Cleveland Browns QB. Some Dude had not won the Heisman Trophy. Some Dude had not led the Dawg Pound to toast their first playoff win since Michael Jordan’s first retirement stint. When my ears caught wind of this bulletin, I nearly spat out my water. So… the Golf Channel assigned camera after camera to Baker Mayfield, who turned out to be Some Dude?!

Caddie Of The Week: Geno Bonnalie

While Mr. Horschel, Mr. Garcia, and Mr. Dude were having their fun at the WGC Match Play, another event, down in the Dominican Republic was held. Joel Dahmen prevailed (more on that in a second), but what caught my eye more than his stellar golf was his caddie, Geno Bonnalie. Geno’s arrival at helping win the Corales was a long one - as he shared in a thread, it takes a lot of long, thankless, low-paying hours to turn up at this victorious stop. More than his hard work, his comedic ways jumped out to me. (Prioritizing humor over work ethic should let you know where my priorities stand) First, on Sunday, a day Joel Dahmen was so close to seizing that elusive first place, he snoozed and snoozed as the majestic sun probed his living room. That got a hearty chuckle from me, but nothing compared to his heroic actions that afternoon. Dahmen’s signature item is the bucket hat. The windy day that Joel took advantage of to win the Corales bit him back by blowing the bucket right off his dome. Fortunately, who was there but his beloved caddie, Geno Bonnalie? Now, any caddie can look like a golden retriever playing fetch on a flat green with a cap. Geno was BUILT DIFFERENT. He didn’t just chase after the coolest hat in golf - he jumped off a cliff for it, if you pause the clip at the right time. Is that not enough for you, you curmudgeon who hates a nice golf story/watching a caddie jump into an abyss? Check out Geno’s right hand during his trip into the gulf - not a drop of his beverage slips into the void. LEGEND.

Moment Of The Week (Corales): Victory And Defeat

Dahmen’s win was one of the most heartwarming moments on the PGA Tour all year. With the emotions he showed afterwards, and sheer joy after finally breaking through, it might pass Bryson DeChambeau thanking his sponsors after wrapping up the API on my feel-good golf moments power rankings. Joel Dahmen, a cancer survivor, a freakishly hard worker, a rare sportsman with a near 100% approval rating had finally gotten over the hump at Corales. What a moment.

For every win, there is always a loss. Sometimes, that can be a drubbing, a painless, senseless, dominant defeat, such as the one that dozens of the best golfers on this planet sustained last week at the hands of Matt Jones at PGA National. This week, Rafael Campos was not treated to such anaesthesia, purely because he played strong enough golf to stick around with Dahmen, up until the final hole, where he tried to make his move, and send this to a playoff. It looked perfect. The Golf And Anything Semi-Adjacent To Anything Semi-Adjacent Channel commentators thought it looked perfect. I thought it looked perfect. Rafael Campos thought it looked perfect. That’s how golf works. Sometimes, you get a horrible bounce. While Campos envisions the millimeters he was away from sending Corales to a 19th hole, Dahmen celebrates the greatest accomplishment of your career. For the better or worse, that’s sports.

Moment of the Week (Match Play): Hometown Hero

Scottie Scheffler had a final round against Billy Horschel that makes an untoasted Pop-Tart look lukewarm. For the sake of the narratives, we’ll pretend that final round never happened. Instead, Scheffler, a Longhorn lifer and local yokel, put on a show in the semifinals. While Matt Kuchar sank on the rolling 17th green, Scheffler navigated it like Ferris Bueller on a parade float for the go-ahead birdie. The putts he drained were electric. The approaches were phenomenal. Yet, the best part of the reigning PGA Tour Rookie Of The Year’s Sunday morning wasn’t off the tee, on the fairway, or near the cup. It was all around him. It was cheering outside his left and right feet. It was a crowd who LOVED one golfer, and would cut off a finger (collectively - random lottery among the several spectators would determine whose digit would be severed) to see him hoist the Walter Hagen Cup. It was fans. It was the faith that soon, once social distancing and vaccine distribution can put this pandemic behind us, roaring crowds will once again be an element of every week’s golf tournament.