Puttering Around: WGC Match Play Preview

 NOTICE: I nearly accidentally submitted this for my English homework document. So, Ms. K, if you’re reading this, enjoy hearing more about Patrick Reed’s putter in Austin than the banality of evil on Eichmann in Jerusalem.

First, let’s go through a brief recap of the Honda Classic. Last week, as I typed up my predictions, I noticed next to my selections of Phil Mickelson as the top Sun Devil and Adam Scott the top Australian (you could probably refer to an Aussie as a Sun Devil too) and noticed a common denominator named Matt Jones, who migrated from Sydney to Tempe. I thought to myself, don’t worry about it, what is some old dude sharing a name with the Kentucky Sports Radio creator, with one PGA win, in 2014 via playoff, and no made cuts at majors since 2016, going to do? Tie a course record and shoot -9 on Day 1 on his way to a 5 stroke victory? Yes. Obligatory “good effort” to every other golfer at this event. Just a breathtaking showing at PGA National from Matt Jones.

Only once a year, we enjoy this fun format, of match play featuring every prominent player this side of the Crater Links (in my focus groups, I’ve found that capitalizing stuff I made up makes it seem more believable) on Mars, where the players compete against each other, in 1v1 competition. Like the World Cup or Champions League, players are ushered into groups of four, with only one emerging, as they face off against their group mates to try to make the octafinals. Is it way less fair because it doesn’t necessarily reflect how well you play? Sure, but it’s super fun, high-stakes, action-packed golf. As the great Tim Donaghy said, Fairness Schmairness. We get the best players in the world, head-to-head. What more could you ask for? 

Cameron Smith to make quarterfinals (+500)

An inconsistent golfer, Cam Smith always has a dazzling week in him, and I believe his equally dazzling hair will play well in the WGC Match Play’s Texas backdrop, as the Smithstache should do an effective job of keeping Austin weird

Patrick Reed to make semifinals (+550)

The phrase “Cheaters Never Win And/Or Make Semifinals At the WGC Dell Technologies Match Play” is far from true on the PGA Tour, where I can imagine the best putter in the world, coupled with Patrick Reed Hijinks™, can lead him to a deep run, and as the old saying goes, “Cheating Is Okay As Long As You Anticipate It And Profit Fake Money Off It”

Viktor Hovland to win (+2500)

I wouldn’t blink if Hovland placed last in his group (assuming I had blinked seconds before - I don’t wanna tout my nonexistent staring contest abilities), but given his ability to catch fire for days, the Norwegian has the ability to run away with the tournament.

Dustin Johnson to win Group 1 Over Na, Long, and MacIntyre (-105)

Unfounded claim, but my current thought is DJ is a good golfer, so I’ll lean towards that, if my logic makes any sense.

Sungjae Im to win Group 16 over Henley, Leishman, and Perez (+170)

Im was gifted an easy group, and with 9 straight made cuts to open 2021, and 6 Top 21 (totally natural, arbitrary number to throw out there. I wouldn’t dream of choosing a random numeral to boost Im’s figures) finishes in that span, he should have no trouble taking advantage.

Xander Schauffle to win Group 6 over Scheffler, Day, and Sullivan (+140)

I don’t like Schauffle to win this tournament, or any PGA event at this moment, but the fact is, he can consistently place highly, with 5 Top 5s since the US Open, allowing me to ignore the struggles of late.

Talor Gooch to win Group 9 over Casey, Simpson and Hughes (+350)

I totally didn’t make this decision because I was tired of picking favorites and wanted to snag an underdog, and just selected the dude with the coolest name, not sure what you’re talking about.

Lee Westwood to beat Sergio Garcia (+105)

Even after a tough week at the Honda, and a mentally + physically taxing stretch of 4 consecutive weekends playing big tournaments, and I now realize my concession has devolved into a refutation of myself, I still love Westie from the East (tell me that isn’t AWESOME) to take care of business against a shaky Sergio Garcia, who did zilch before his incredible showing at the Players, and I’m doing the negotiating against myself again...

Shane Lowry to beat Ryan Palmer (+100)

Shane Lowry, nearing the second anniversary of his win at Royal Portrush, is still technically the reigning British Open champion, and the combination of that display of dominance and a slew of impressive finishes of late, including 8th place at the Players, allow me to believe he can replicate such magic.

Corey Conners to beat Matthew Wolff (-140)

Conners is a far more consistent golfer than Wolff, and should win 70/100 times in this matchup, but with the Big Bad Wolff’s highs and lows, over the course of those hundred matches, he could shatter two Austin Country Club records: most strokes by a pro at the event, and fewest strokes in its history.

Louis Oosthuizen to Win (40-1)

Space on the Oostwagon is filling up, so better hop on soon if you want a window seat.

Fictitious Bet of The Week: Over/Under 49.5 instances of announcers saying “Man, (insert golf reporter with cool name like Bones), this really is like March Madness, huh?”

Extra Special Bet That Already Occurred This Week:

Number Of Times I Accidentally Referred To “A Good 4 Days,” Only To Realize The WGC Match Play is a 5 Day Event

Whatever the over is, hammer it.

Enjoy one of the most fun events of the year. I’ll see y’all next week